Dark Cloud (original)

by RadianceInReverse   Oct 28, 2005


Here I lay
with this dark cloud
over my head
All I do is cry
like a constant waterfall
that never goes dry
The sun will never shine
in my mind
The rain will continuely flow
until my heart has flooded,
I cant take it anymore
Then my emotions will entirely dry up
and I will hate myself
and everyone around me
When i finally end the pain
it will be to late
The Knife has already severed the vein
My blood has begun to drain!!!

This poem suks but plz comment!!!

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by ~â‚£ading |nspiration~

    It's good...not bad at all...really holds deap meaning...if you want to make it better...don't change the meaning...you can play with the words...luv ya...Jane

  • 18 years ago

    by Forsaken Redeemer

    Ok, so its not the best poem in the world, but it sure as hell duznt suk!
    i really liked the las 2 lines,

    The Knife has already severed the vein
    My blood has begun to drain!!!

    tht bit woz really well written.

    good work. keep goin.

    xXx

  • 18 years ago

    by Pure Silence

    Give your self more credit or ill have to hurt you, your a wonderful poet yourself:)

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