This Is -My- Apology. [Please Forgive Me]

by Not Bulletproof   Oct 29, 2005


The way their faces curved into a frown,
It made my eyes water and stomach churn.
Can't believe how much I was put down,
By my own words that I let fiercely burn.

I heard your heart shatter at the end of my sentence,
But I turned and ignored it with eyes shut tight.
Then they came, with sick faces that made me wince,
And then I knew that what I did wasn't very bright.

I started shaking and I was worrying so badly,
Apparently you were bleeding quite terribly.
I wanted to tell you that it was a joke; that I was sorry,
But I ran...and I got you the help you need; not me.

I'm sorry I caused the blood that seeped,
And to my friends, sorry that you had to see.
How many of you got sick when you got a peek?
Maybe I should have accepted his damn apology.

Then my tears would stop falling from this façade,
And your stomachs wouldn't have gotten nauseas.
I should have forgave him; should have kept the anger away,
Then all this bullshit, we could have possibly missed.

Your eyes were filled with a gloomy shade of misery,
And mine were filled with fright and apologies.
This is all my fault; I am so very damn sorry,
To you, my friends, and to him, please accept this apology.

But how can I ask that, when I couldn't take his?
It's not fair, I know...I screwed up...I'm sorry.

Sarah Gammon ©
10/28/05

*There's a long story behind this. But I'm sorry to everyone who reads this, that knows what happened Thursday morning.
Thanks for reading -xxx-.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by ~*Missing Them Already*~

    Hello My wonderful!! Gosh...it's been a long time....6 and a half months to be exact. I have missed you so freaking much...don't get your hopes up though...I still can't get on the site....don't ask...I'm not letting myself read anything from Kristen...it will just break my heart....it's going to kill me if I try to. But lately Sarah, I've been thinking about you a lot....I miss you girl...and I never actually got to say goodbye to you. I'm sorry. I don't know how things have been going in your life....I hope all is well. Don't worry about me (even though I doubt yall think about me much) I'm doing a lot better....no more cutting...not since that last day....May 18th....and I'm planning on keeping it that way. I miss you all so much....I miss you a lot Sarah....I could talk to you for hours on end....remember that day that I stayed home from school and talked to you for like 10 hours straight...haha. I wish we could do that again! Wow babe....I love you so much...don't ever forget that!! I will always love you...there will always be a place in my heart for you. You helped me so much...and you are a huge part of the reason I'm still alive today!! Thank you for everything girl!! I miss you...don't ever forget that!!
    I love you always
    Sam

    P.S. I don't know whats happend with nick....but if you two still talk...tell him I've been thinking about him and I miss him!....

  • 18 years ago

    by Romy Rose

    I h0pe everything is w0rking out for you honey,
    great poem..
    horrible feelings.
    *huggs* PunkChick

  • 18 years ago

    by Renee

    I still don't think you should be blaming yourself, or be putting that burden on your shoulder. It was his choice what he did; he could have moved on and accepted reality. But I wish the best of luck to both of you, and I hope you two can get through this mess and still be friends, or at least not enemies. I hope writing this issue out in the form of a poem helped releive some of the worries and stress you had about it. It was written wonderfully, and I know it was hard for you to write it, so I applaud you. I hope you feel better soon m'dear.

    Take Care,
    Renee

  • 18 years ago

    by Kendall

    Im loving all the descriptions. great poem and i hope everything is working out for you.

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