Before i lose it

I'm hiding my face away from this world.
I'm letting my feelings go for now.
i don't want to come back of how everything was.
my thoughts begin to poor out.
i begin to shout.
I'm writing another poem again.
hoping you would see it.
hoping you would finally read it.

i gotta tell you things.
that you have already found out.
or already known for a while.
i do love you.
i do want to be with you.
but that's me.
i don't know what you want.
i don't know anymore were i stand.

so now I'm gonna just stay away.
I'm gonna make my deal and fade.
another poem I'm at again.
that won't make any sense to anyone.
but to me it would make a life perfect.
just let me tears fall from the face that you once touched.
my lips begin to fade off the color the ones you use to kiss.

my feeling is losing it's body.
my body is aching and is bruised.
from someone that was holding me to tight.
that person was not you.
i just want you to know.
i just want you to find out.
i just need you to tell me it's OK.
to be there for me.
forever and always.
but will that happen??

will i be the one who still will sit here.
wondering what if.
wondering if you still want me.
wondering if you still love me.
wondering if you still like me.
maybe I'll just sit here and do that.

my tears don't fall as much.
my fears don't stand out much.
it's like it was never happening.
it's like my life was a lie.
my love was a lie.
what if it was.
what if it wasn't.
would i still sit here writing this??

now i sit here wondering why you were really depressed.
i wish i could make you happy again.
i wish i could tell you everything will be OK.
but i don't think you would believe me.
i wonder if you still listen to me.
maybe I'm just random telling this.
maybe i am but this is what i need to ask.
this is was i need to get out.
before i got crazy and shout.