Determined to feel no more

As i lay on my bed,
i grab the knife from under the pillow,
beneath my head,
i cut into my skin,
so pale and Innocent,
it starts to cry beautiful tears,
the color red,
i cant feel it,
and i don't want to stop,
the pain is like a ride,
that i want to go on and on,
i cut more and more,
but this time,
its so deep,
i end up hitting the floor,
when i wake,
i think of what Ive done,
i cover it up,
and carry on,
another day comes,
and i start all over again,
but this time I'm determined,
to cut until the end.