In this life Ive made mistakes...Many mistakes..I can admit to my mistakes. It takes time to realize that when youve done something wrong that it was truly wrong. I can admit to when Im wrong. I understand that at points I can be unbearable to live with. Ive realized this because at one point I couldnt even live with myself. I did some things that were stupid in the moment and would take them back in a second. Ive never been one to say that I truly felt like I had nothing left. Everything leading up to that moment just went horribly wrong. Just when I felt like everything was about to get right, but it was nobody elses fault but my own. Im the kind of person who feels like Friendships are something to be treasure not messed with. When I feel like Im being walked all over I get defensive, but who doesnt. Never will I ever belittle, or cripple myself for someone else, Its not human and its not me. I am who I am and Im not going to change my life for someone elses likings, If you dont like it then I dont know what to tell you. I understand that people change and friends drift, I always looked to deep into that. I thought it was personal, that people did that because they didnt like something about me. it is what it is, people change and friends drift. I look at people around me and think that there life is so much easier and better than mine. Ive come to realize that it is not because of material things because deep inside they make it that way. There environment around them is the way it is because theyve built it that way. When someone calls you a name or does something deceitful, it hurts only because you alloyed it to hurt. Ive alloyed a lot of people to walk all over me and didnt realize until I felt the pain. But that was nobodys fault but my own. Life doesnt hand you anything you make it. I can change myself but not those around me. Sometimes people dont understand that you cant mold something thats already been molded. There life was filled with rules up until this point, theyve already been molded to the person that they are. If its something you dont like tough. If you dont like something about them but choose to have them around you for some reason, learn to deal with it. Just like I am who I am, they are who they are. There life might be right to them but not to you. Its unfortunate if they think that the awful things that they do are right. But if that gets to you, then you choose to let it get to you, its then nobody elses fault but your own. Every time I let something piddifle and stupid get to me my wall broke down more. Ive come to realize that Im living my life on a pedestal at any moment I could fall. Its time for me to let go of the things that hurt. For those of you who care this is for you.
