The funeral

by Lenny   Nov 11, 2005


Sad times are these
With tears on our cheeks
Its funny how days
Can seem like weeks
Its not fair we all know it
He shouldnt be gone
But in our hearts
He will always live on
And if we miss him
Well remember that
Theres always a man
Whos up for a chat
Where ever we are
Thats where hell be
To listen to you
And to listen to me
Now hes up in heaven
Telling jokes to God
As we all reminisce
Down paths we once trod
Above us hes smiling
Shouldnt we do the same?
Now lets lay him to rest
Thats why we all came.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    I liked the message, but not as much as your other stuff.. i think you'd benefit by being a lil bit more subtle; specifically..

    Its not fair we all know it
    He shouldnt be gone
    But in our hearts
    He will always live on

    i see the idea you have, but it just seems so plain.. anyway, i think maybe beefing it up with some imagery and working out those "trite" ideas.. anyway, i did like it th0, especially the ending.. i hate funerals myself and avoid em at all costs, but its a good message that i think could be stronger with a lil reworking..

  • 18 years ago

    by sarah

    Speachless... i have tears in my eyes. i can't explain how this poem made me feel. one of the best ive ever read. its so simple. I have to know did you write this about someone?

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Fantastic! loved it, needless to say.. it had a great bouncy rhythm to it.. and it captured the feelings "perfectly" great ending too,.. short and to the point, i cant say how much i love this and all your other work..

    About paths we once trod

    maybe replace about with "down".. i dunn0 it just caught my eye and i thought of that as a suggestion.,. wish i could give cone helpful crits, but thats all i got.. keep it up, im waitin for more =O).. pZ out

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