Another distant memory another piece falls from my broken heart...
as love tries to pull us together the anger just tears us apart...
overwhelming pain slits through my mind and through these wrists...
my heartbeat slowly fades as do these pounding fists...
bottled up emotions lead to my unattainable insanity...
breaking away from self respect leaving all reality...
self destruction overpower my continued rage...
as this is being written the anger drips quickly to this page...
and no one sees these tears of misery falling from my eyes...
drowned out by the masses no one hears these silent cries...
lying on the floor in a puddle of my depression...
awaiting the fate of my dearly feared rejection...
and as i stand before u i begin to understand...
why u were never there for me why i never made a stand...
never did i believe in you and still till this day i don\'t...
but Ive got a pretty good idea of why i know i wont...
in my eyes u took away the only ones Ive ever loved...
and u never gave me guidance when i was pushed and shoved...
but now i question why somehow I\'m still here today...
even though Ive never spoken to u even though i never did pray...
somehow I\'m still alive after all the dangerous attempts...
somehow I\'m still here today and now i question, was i exempt...
was i allowed to disobey and and do the things i please...
was i allowed to deny Ur presence and allowed not to believe...
is this poem just a way to cover up a prayer...
or is it more than that a way to open up and share...
18 years Ive been around and still too young to die...
underneath these watery eyes is a soul that is too shy...
to shy to stand up to u and ask questions beyond my years...
to weak to believe that there is just so much to fear...
and as always youll send me back into my reality...
to my eternally damned body...
leaving my questions and covered up prayers unanswered once again...
to be left to ask again on my next attempt...
