Idk?

Wondering why
I'm in this situation
why i always live up
to everyones expectations

sitting here thinking
about this past year
reminiscing of the laughs
and so many of the tears

some that Ive cried
and some Ive inflicted
seeming so numb
to the way life has ended

ending up in flames
that have devoured my heart
killing me slowly
and tearing lives apart

its like I'm sitting still
while the world is spinning
feeling so sick
missing the beginning

sick of the tears
that have become my routine
of the life that i live
that now seems so empty

its just lonely!