A Wonderful Dream

by Jesse Ray   Nov 24, 2005


A Wonderful Dream

There's a story of a little boy
That's always on my mind
How he met a wonderful girl
And how their lives entwined

The little boy was only seven
With romantic thoughts and dreams
A caressing hug to every girl
Was all he needed it seems

One day he met an exquisite girl
Only a year older than him
It seemed she made an interest
It wasn't for long, almost a whim

She got up and walked towards him
With a soft whisper, she asked him out
The little boy was bewildered
He almost had his doubts

Lunch came, and they sat outside
Wondering what they should do
Should they kiss or hug?
They knew they're love was true

With all his questions answered
The little boy kissed the little girl
She didn't fight back, she lets it flow
It seemed like the world was in a twirl

She got up off from the ground
And ran away from the little boy
Now he knows her affection is false
And how she treated him like a toy

Like a cloud, the classes passed by
Daydreaming of the wondrous kiss
How for one single moment
His life was in total bliss

As the bell rang at three o'clock
The little boy saw her in a gleam
But then, all of a sudden
He woke up from his wonderful dream

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by kati

    I liked this poem alot!! =) 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by .tiana ღ laura.

    This is so cute and i loved how it ended! it was so original i didn't expect it to all be a dream... even tho the title is 'a wonderful dream' haha but i reallly liked it... 5/5
    xo adge

  • 18 years ago

    by CE

    Very good poem 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Truest Lies

    Well, I'm not sure that it would have been a wonderful dream, but then again, I'm not a seven year old boy being treated like a toy while in love.

    "She got up off from the ground," didn't seem to flow very well, it kind of stunted the poem, or cut it short, but anyway, the rest had a kind of rhythm to it, a certain constance in the words that made up for anything.
    "The little boy saw her in a gleam" kind of didn't make that much sense, unless you're particularly thinking that it was a gleam of sunshine, and then with the ending, where it's all a dream, was rather unexpected.
    I got sort of caught up in the story, so I forgot the title, and when it finally came in at the end, it was all quite nice.

    So, to sum it up, the story had its good points, if a little weird, and in some ways it sounded quite a bit little a child's love, a little boys dream.

    "They knew they're love was true" isn't quite right, it should be "their" love.
    Okay, besides that, I found no other mistakes in your poem.

    Good Writing!
    beth

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    VERY Cute!!!!! It was really just like a story. I really enjoyed it. wow.... Its so hard to believe your that young... Keep your head up high!!!!
    ~Jessica~
    *aka* Thug Baby

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