Wanting to be lost

The water is tinted with a dark red color,

I hear screaming, i know its my mother.

My eyes are closed i can feel it now,

The pain throbbing in my wrist's and brow.

I was so stressed out i wanted to end it all,

Then the blade slipped and i fell in and out again.

I wasn't supposed to wake up, i wasn't supposed to care

Mom friends please just don't stare.

I know you worry and i know you care,

But you cant help me, i cant see you there.

Sure I'm selfish but i wanted this one little thing,

Just to love, didn't even care for a ring.

Wanted to worry wanted to care,

wanted someone just to be there.

You don't understand i know this now,

Your child is corrupted and you wonder how.