I feel blind

When I do picture myself with a girl
For some reason, I see you, and my stomach curls
I dont want to see you in my mind
Cause I cant see you the same way anymore
I feel blind
And now our hands are no longer entwined

I want you back
But my heart is too black
And bruised and split with a crack
How will I know for sure that you wont lie again
I dont wanna always ask. who, what, where, and when