A Journal Unfilled

She walks in and picks up the journal only half full
She studies the bright pink and orange on the cover
is there something there she should notice or is she just being crazy
...tally marks, one, two, three...
should she read it, find out what happened
the life of her daughter seemed to be happy
the events that occurred that night show quite the contrary
She asks out loud,"Will i be betraying you?"
She had to find out though, her one and only daughter
her only thing to hold on to in life
suicidal....
four, five, six...
she opens the cover, there rests a letter:
Dear Someone, Anyone,
when will you notice the tears that fall down these rosy red cheeks? Not that I'm complaining, I'll always have one friend there for me. look at my eyes, do you see me? i bet you notice me now....dead. you can't look into my eyes and see the real me, you missed your chance. Is everything better now? I'm not here to inconvenience you anymore. God was never there for me. he doesn't really exist. so many night i prayed for him to fix me. no reply or sign, where was he? Now I'll leave you to ponder through my things, but trust me you'll never understand everything that is me. A secret that went to the grave with me. i must go, my time here is up. I'll end it now. *smiles* to all those i love.
Me
seven, eight, nine...
She finally decides that the journal she must read.