Wow... very nice and touching... keep it up 5/5!

sammie

Hey nice poem 5/5

Very good poem, Just like a story it seems. I like the way you worded it...very nice...Def-5/5
~Jessica~
*aka* Thug Baby

There was some very nice imagery there, I could imagine a person in a bed, dying, while the train began to screech to a stop.
Nice!

Good Writing!
beth

P.S. You could try fixing some little i's and a teeny bit of grammar that didn't look right, maybe giving it a quick check would help it a great deal. But as it is, you still have a great style.

I love the way that you compared the pain of life to machinary, it something that I've never seen. It makes you better understand... Everyone has thier own way of looking at things and I find it amazing that u used cars, trains and ect... Great Job!

XOXO
Kayla

Great poem. I can sense a feeling of confusion and like there is no control, and that's good since that's what you were going for! 5.

Tiffany.xox.

Thanks for commenting on my poem. this is a really good poem, it touches on a subject everyone can understand in one way or another. good work.
Ben

Wow thats really cool, ive never seen anything like it awsome write 5/5

I think I'm at that point in my life again. This was a really good poem. The only thing, is the last verse didn't rhyme. The poem overall was good. Good message and a nice way off writing it.

Yeah, your traped where you dont want to be. I understand, nice idea to use a runaway train to show that you cant control what is hapening to you. ;-)

Thats a very good expression of life through metaphors. i love it.

A really good and effective poem. well done. i got the meanings u were trying to portray. it was a very cleaver metaphor

Ruby

No explanation is needed!! It perfectly clear and perfectly wonderful!! I loved how you expressed the feeling of confusion!! Great job!!!

Great poem, you can tell your heart was in it. It has a lot of feeling and emotion and that's what makes a peom great. The rhyme is awsome and so is the flow. perfect 5!!! the only thing is add punctuation it helps the pace at which the reader is supposed to read it at.

~~Sweetie

Wow
that is so amazing, i could just feel emotion coming from it. I love they way you expressed youself. Congrats on the great work, I feel for it and understand.
xoxo
allison

Don't ever be sorry for a long meaning and putting your heart into it. Deeper meanings and metaphors are both something that can truly make a poem worth reading. Like this one, I really liked it and was glad to see that someone could write about something like that in a more imaginative way then just the obvious. I'm very impressed actually, that was fantastic! nice job!

I had to read it twice, but then i got it. i think this is a very creative poem with its kind of 'hidden meaning' could you plz check out my poems
Land of the Free
the life you deplore

keep up your original work! blarg

Wow...great poem. love the way you wrote it by using the image of a train.

Good poem. I like the idea. You kind of jump around a little bit. If it wasn't for the explanation I wouldn't of really known what it was about at all. But keep up the good work.

Nice poem mate..and good flow...a great message..keep it up!!
xxx
mezkenzie