WHO AM I?

What a dream
My life on a candy hill
Im suppose to feel happy
So high
But am I really
A boyfriend
A family
A good job
Life I guess to its fullest
I am lower then low
Eyes non-blinking
Breathing abnormal
Hands Sweaty
Shifting back and fourth
I ignore whats around me
Im passive to everyone
To nice
To ignorant
To shallow
Im not me
I can feel that
A lie to myself
What am I
What have I become
Life is what?
Hair fryed
No where to go
College is a blur
Lifes wind has died
I crawl into bed
Close the heavy eyes
And dream
Dream of a better place
A real me
A real version
Im lost
Please find me