Patient Man

by Cameron Paiz   Dec 9, 2005


It seems the patient man
has all but disappeared
Far from you in his own
little world something
you can't hear

The life to which he fears
that he leads
He no longer cares
He no longer bleeds

Once just as fragile as
you are seen now
But turned into a quick
tempered soul, and no
one knows how

So if you happen upon him
Do not judge him by first or
last impression

Take him for the profound
potential that is lurking within

Cause for a short while he was
seen as the patient man with
a kind, warm, gentle, and loving helping hand

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Oh yes I do enjoy this poem better and think it reads a little more easier! Great job!

  • 19 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Cause for a short while he was seen as the patient man with the helping hand

    THe only thing I just want to suggest if I may, is that maybe you should add a few more words in that last line...THe poem was well structured and very well written until that part..I think this poem will be nicely peiced if you said something along the lines of "Cause for a while he was seen as a patient man, always with a generous helping hand"...might flow a little better...don't have to use it just some critiquing...Other then that I really enjoyed this peice..I don't normally read dark poems but I have to say I enjoyed reading this one!!

    Thanks so much for your comment on my poem "Magic in the Mistletoe"....It was so nice of you and made me smile...me and Britt have made a new account...ChelsandBritt.....tonight we will be adding more poems if your interested in reading! Thanks again we appreciate it!

    Kind Regards,
    ~Chelsey~

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