Never true

I sit in my closet and feel like a freak
I sit in my closet and weep
Today you asked me how was i doing
And you couldn't tell that i answered with tears in my eyes
For for all my pains I weep
All my problems I keep
Even though your the one I love the most
Sometimes I feel so pushed away by your cold touch
I know you really care
And I know that you are always there
But how can you be and just seem to not always notice
I'm so scared that I'm pushing you away
With the problems I'm trying to deal with everyday
You left me once felt so sucked in
But then you knew how I felt and left me alone again
Now I feel so scared and more alone
Because with out you in my life there would be no more me
But what do I say to you on these days?
When I'm wishing that tomorrow will never come
I pretend every ting is fine
I guess I will never shine true