Captive

I find myself wishing i could hate you,
but only love is in my veins.
i hate everything that you freaking do-
except the fact that you love me, too.

it's like a game i cannot win,
or a fight i have long since lost.
i've put everything into loving you,
my heart has been the cost.

i resent you for loving me,
but i'm always eager to hear your voice.
my weakness to you sickens me,
in my head, you are the noice.

i swear you're just trying to destroy me,
break me apart and use me.
i've never been more confused,
never felt more abused.

wishing for release is an useless act,
from you, i'll never get away.
emotionally i've been attacked,
my soul i've surrendered back.

December 4, 2005