Whos fault??????

I'm sat here staring at my blank wall
with the pills on my bed
the silence is deafening
but I'm happy because these thoughts will stop in my head

was it my fault because of all my crazy thoughts
i cut my arms so the blood flowed red
i shut myself away from the world
but I'm happy because all these thoughts will stop in my head

is it my friends fault because she forgot
she tried to help but i could't do what she said
so she stopped and it felt like she didn't care
but I'm happy because all these thoughts will stop in my head

i try to work it out but can't place the blame
dose it matter or not I'll forget instead
swallowing these pills make me heave but i keep on at it
they taste sour but i wont care when I'm dead