Truth

Have you heard the saying, "The truth hurts."?

It's true.

When I find the truth, it breaks me every time.

So much pain.

What will it take, for me to forget and leave everything behind?

Lost.

That's how it feels.
You try to figure everything out, but you don't even know where to start.

Why?

That's the question that runs through my head.
I don't even know what I'm asking for.

Tears.

That's that only thing blinding me from the world.

Afraid.

That's how I feel, every time I close my eyes to sleep, thinking of what I might dream.
Thinking that it'll be as painful as reality if not more so.

Red.

That's all I see when rage clouds my mind.

Black.

That's all I see when my world darkens and I know that I've had enough.

Tired.

That's how I feel when life throws too much at me.

Suppress.

That's what I have to do with my emotions every second of the day, to keep my feelings in check.

A mask.

This is what I have to wear to fool everyone around me.

Shove away.

That's what I have to do with my emotions, my dreams, and my memories.
I have to shove everything away to the back of my mind, to keep my sanity.

Then again,
I lost my sanity long ago.

On second thought, I didn't lose it. It was ripped away from me.

Suspicious.

That's how I feel when I see every passing stranger.

Who can I trust?
I can't even trust myself.

Distance.

I keep my distance.
I don't want to hurt anyone,and I don't want to get hurt anymore than I already have.

I love my family, but if I were to love them and be a burden, I'd rather love them from a distance.

I'd distance myself enough, that no one would be able to put me on their shoulders.

My life is what I make it to be.

Sometimes,
my life numbs the pain.

But just because my pain is numbed, doesn't mean it's gone.

The pain is still there.

Always is.
Always has been.
Always will be.

The truth may hurt,
but it can set you free.

On the other hand,
If the pain is unbearable,
Is the truth worth it?

The truth hurts,
but so do the lies.

If you like my first and previous poem, "Don't..." then I hope you like this one as well.