I just lost someone really close to me, his name was Aaron, I loved him so much and he loved me. He would have done anything to protect me and I felt the same toward him. He was killed last night while on the way to see me. It was a snowy night and there was ice on the road, a car hit him. All he wanted was to see me for Christmas, and he didn't even get that.
I can't believe it, I just can't believe he is gone I say to Lori while tears are still streaming down my face. It will be okay KaTreasa, he is in a better place now, she says to me while pulling me close to her and hugging me. but It's not fair, I loved him, I really did, and I still do. He is watching over you KaTreasa, things will get better, I promise.
Lori accompanied me to the funeral at the end of that week, along with a few of his friends. I was to give the eulogy so I went up there unprepared because the best words come from the heart I was once told. I walked by the casket barely breathing through the sobs. I was trying so hard to keep the tears from falling, but I couldn't. I walked up to the stand to speak, and very few words come out. I was supposed to say a few words I loved him, and its all my fault I scream and run out with Lori behind me. I fall to my knees crying asking anyone who would listen why he was gone. After the funeral, before the burial, I walked up to the casket alone and barely whispered to him I love you,and I knew he was looking at me listening and saying I love you too. Lori walks in and gives me a hug and tells me it is time to go. So we walk out the door not thinking about Christmas break ending and school beginning the next day.I had been sitting up thinking and writing in my notebook, things that I needed to get out, when I hear my alarm clock going off. I got up and pressed the snooze button then went and sit back down wondering how time went by so fast. I was planning on staying home, I just didn't want to move. I wanted to stay there forever, or until he came back. My mom comes in screaming at me telling me I have to go to school or I will be late, so I get dressed, not worrying about make-up or anything and barely brushing my hair while walking out the door to get to the bus stop.
The bus finally comes and I walk up the steps and hear everyone smiling and laughing, not knowing that something horrible had happened. I started thinking about how I used to laugh so much when I was with him, and how I smiled whenever he just looked at me, or thinking about how I would be happy for hours after hearing him say that he loved me. I felt a quick tear roll down my cheek and realized I was crying. My friend Jacci walks beside me as we get off of the bus and asks me what is wrong, I wave her off and say nothing is wrong, knowing I was lying to myself and her.
I get to school and my friends come up to me asking what is wrong and hugging me as tears are streaming down my cheeks more than usual. The whole day I was wishing for Aaron to come back, he went to the same school as me and everyone was used to seeing us together. People who didn't know what had happened to him, walked up to me and asked where Aaron was, I couldn't talk too well when I was crying so I tried to stop so that I could tell them the truth without breaking down more than I was. I start to explain, the words coming out too slowly. Aaron was.. I started to cry again. He was, in an accident. I whisper to them. Their faces just went blank as I started crying. They gathered around me saying oh my gosh and how could this happen, a few of them hugged me, but nothing seemed to help.
I went home and called Lori, she doesn't go to the same school as me so she doesn't know everything that happened today. I told her about everyone asking what had happened to him and I told her about crying and the hugs and how I wish none of this every happened. KaTreasa, I know you hurt, you have to understand that this wasn't your fault though, just because he was coming to see you it wasnt his fault. It was icy outside you couldn't have done anything to control that. Thank you so much Lori, you are the best friend ever, my reason to live.
