The me you claim to know...

by Lenny   Jan 2, 2006


Why cant you accept it?
You dont know me like I do,
If you did you wouldnt be here,
With me,
And if I could,
I wouldnt be here with me either,
But death in my eyes,
Is not escape,
But an excuse to avoid living,
So I will remain here until,
I am willed away,
At the hands of a merciful other,

I dont yet know myself,
Yet you tell me that I do,
And I tell you,
There are several mes,
For everyone I know,
That I know myself enough to know,
I morph like the clay,
In the hands of a sculptor,
Who doesnt know what to make,
Who to please,
So he remakes his piece,
To please his every audience,

We can agree on that,
Yet you still claim you know me,
I could be wrong,
But if you do know me,
Then I barely know myself,
But I already realize that I dont know myself,
And if you know me so well,
I cant know the me you know,
So you cant possibly understand me,
The way I do,
Maybe in some other way,
But you still only know the me,
That you see,
That you understand,
And not the me,
Thats here right now,
Thats writing this poem,
This me, this version of myself,
The one that doesnt understand,
The me you claim to know. . .

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by myshiningstar14

    I rly enjoyed this...i love how you poured yourself out in this...

    Lissa

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    I liike! it's so different than all of your other poems.. one thing that didn't seem up-to-par with your other poems was the flow.. there were a couple spots where I stumbled a little but it's little, nitpicky things. I think your content was awesome and the format(or lackthereof) was perfect for this piece. I'll just go from here...

    And if I could,
    I wouldnt be here with me either,

    [if i could] - that makes it sound weird because u were talking about NOT doing something (being with you) and then you switch it up to if i could.. I'd say use couldn't so that it'd all match up, but that wouldn't really fit either.. hmm..

    There are several me's,
    For everyone I know,

    the apostrophe makes the meaning clearer; mes is not a word used too often and for me was a little confusing without it..

    ok.. onto more substantial comments..

    I morph like the clay,
    In -[the] hands of a sculptor,
    Who doesnt know what to make,
    Who to please,
    So he remakes his piece,
    To please his every audience,

    I really like the message behind this. I think all you need is to maybe cut out a few words that are just 'there' and add more ideas to play on the concept of you, ever- changing. I put brackets around the words that I thought didn't contribute much to the overall quality..

    Also, these lines talk about a sculptor.. I like the imagery (but still think it could use more "hands-on" imagery, especially for such a piece. Last line,.. I like it but I think it could be more poignant..

    appeasing his every audience
    with a malleable disposition.

    That second line, I just added in to elaborate on more of what I was talking about. Doubtfully will you use the example, but hopefully you get what I'm saying..

    Anyway.. I liked the last stanza, though the least of all three.. I like what you're saying but it seems like it's too hectic or chaotic - jumpy - for me.. I loved the overall conclusion th0,.. Basically I think this is a really good poem, and like I said before: If you took some time, I think it could be that much more of an awesome poem.. good stuff as always.. pZ out =O)

  • 18 years ago

    by brown eyes and a melancholy smile

    Woah, nice work. i really like this part about the clay and sculptor in the middle stanza....:

    " I morph like the clay,
    In the hands of a sculptor,
    Who doesnt know what to make,
    Who to please,
    So he remakes his piece,
    To please his every audience..."

    good write.

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