Memories of me...

Some nights I see you and your actually there.
Some nights your there and you actually care.
And all of a sudden a tear comes to my eye.
And then I wake up, it's all just a lie.
Dreams make me wish that my life wasn't real.
Dreams make me wish that you could understand how I feel.
I close my eyes.
And that second dies.
And with no surprise.
Reality hits me.
And the truth isn't hard to see.
Dreams bring me back to my childhood.
The part that wasn't all that good.
I sit there and watch in horror.
I don't want to see this anymore.
I close my eyes and pretend it isn't real.
But that doesn't change how I feel.
Anger and rage escapes.
I wake up and have no change in fate.
These dreams kill me everynight.
These dreams remind me that I never do anything right.
Tears come to my eyes.
And the feeling dies.
And as I begin to close my eyes.
I see pictures of me and you then.
I wish that I could go back and relive it again.
We were happy then.
And once again.
Budweiser the king of beers.
The bringer of tears.
The box of my worst fears.
Your another person after awhile.
You no longer have that same smile.
You reach for me, but I push you away.
And for that you don't have anything to say.
Tears come to your eyes.
And with no surprise.
It's my fault things are like this.
It's my fault your not living in bliss.
I shouldn't have been born.
And with that more of my skin is torn.
Torn by that belt.
That belt that made my insides melt.
And once again I wake up.
And the dreams, I've had enough.
So I reach for the .45.
Load a bullet that pushes the wish to die.
Tears in my eyes.
I don't want anymore of these dreams.
In one instant the dreams are set free.
And then I'm looking at flashbacks and memories of me...