As i sit here...thinking as the night goes on...i wonder what I'm doing...am i really here for people to love me...or am i here to make all the mistakes a person can make...i try to open my eyes...as I'm lying here tonight...not able to sleep and just staring at the ceiling...maybe going by my window to look out into the sky...and over and over again i just ask why...lay back in my bed and just want to die...i can only act happy but never really feel it...its all a show...maybe i should be my real self but then maybe that would be another mistake...i just cant stand the pain of acting like a different person...the only thing to make this better is maybe to disappear...that wouldn't be a mistake...it would be an accomplishment....
