Revived By Pain

I listen to sad music,
Read depressing poems.
I sit in the dark
once again, all alone.

The rain pouring down
The skies dark
Another murder
In the city park.

Tears falling,
Blood trickling down my wrist.
Final words are said
By a teen who wont be missed.

I love feeling sad
And like there's no hope.
Of feeling unwanted
And unable to help.

I feel so sick
This cannot be right.
Why do I feed
Off of pain every night?

Why is it I enjoy
Feeling so sad
Why do I take pleasure in
Losing everything I had?

Why does it feel so good
To watch people cry?
Why do I feel free
In watching you die?

This cant be normal
And it scares me to think so
I wish life was just simple
As it was long ago

And as I watch the rain fall
and listen the wind blow
i turn to face a wall
so that my smile doesn't show