Changement

The pain will leave; yes.
It will shatter along with my last breath.
Time slows down to the very last second.
The bullet is launched as I wait and beckon.
Please god, send me to heaven!
Make this bullet slowly Peirce my veins.
Make it bring the worst of pain.
I f**king deserve its power of death!

...Why did I feel it pass through my neck?...

Bastard of a god.
Amusing yourself as I sit and sob.
My one way ticket out of this h3ll.
All thats left is a empty shell.
Yet blood is still flowing, heavy and hard.
My last chance I'll give it my all.
I'll attack this wound I've given myself.
Look who's laughing now God, I'm winning my death!
I'm painting the floors with my own blood!
Just one more push, one more shove.
And slowly my existence begins to fade.

...But why am I feeling so betrayed?...

I feel the pain I felt in life.
The numbing reality of passing time.
The dark awareness of being alive.
A sense of defeat overwhelming my mind.
I uncontrollably begin to cry,
When I hear instruction to open my eye.
The voice wasn't human, nor from inside.

My curiosity overcomes my blight...

I saw a light, and it was dim.
When suddenly I saw a brightness within.
A beauty without a trace of origins.
A spectacle surpassing natural sight.
A meaning of life entwined with grace.
I, no longer seeing life black and white.
But all of the Grey contained inside.
God, forgive me of my suicide.