I've given up

I don't no why I'm living
I haven't lived this life in years
I can't remember what fun was
All i have are fears.

My fears are all that stand with me
through the good times and the bad
They've been with me when i was happy
but mostly when I'm sad.

I can't remember what a smile is
My face has froze to a subtle frown
My eyes have lost their sparkle
All the tears fall down.

Imprisoned in my loneliness
Crippled with depression
numbed with all these tears
hidden at discretion

I've given up on living
I don't want to exist
I grab the blade of freedom
It opens up my wrist

Out pours all the life
Out pours all disgrace
Out pours all the hurting
a smile is on my face