Pain agony Love

~The first time I wrote this poem it made me terribly depressed and i did some stupid things... so it means alot to me to hear what you think thnx~

If there was a once, that is a never
I'll give you that, I'll give you that
If a sunset could never end, and day never begin
I'd give you that, I'd give you that
If love existed beyond death or the brinks of heaven or hell
I've gave you that, I've gave you that

I'd like to tell you the cutest thing in the world was when you hugged me, telling me that you loved me and swore to never let go
But I won't
I'd love to tell you that I liked it when you told me I was beautiful when I cried, puffy eyed, ruffled hair, or when I just wake up, still in pjs, eyes half closed
But I guess I shouldn't
I wish I could tell you that I hate being "friends", how it never seems to fill this hole, like its having something just within your reach but you can't have it
But I couldn't if I tried
I need to tell you it kills me to see you with other people, no one could love you like I do
But I would me afraid to

I could never say how many times I cried myself to sleep,
with broken hearted nightmares,
of useless hope and fears,
just to wake up and go through it all again
These words from deep inside my heart and soul,
cast my pride aside,
and throw honor out the window
Try as I might,
I can't bring myself to say goodbye
I am unashamed of my love for you,
could shout it out loud
Yet... what would be the point,
when all you see from me
is pain and agony