They never get it

What if you woke up,
and i wasn't there,
maybe its then,
you see how much i cared,

if i just disappeared,
and you never again saw me,
would you be sad,
then wish you could adore me,

I'm really so close,
to just taking that step,
cause inside i know,
its the only way to forget,

I'm not gonna shoot or cut myself,
I'm thinking more like a bridge,
like getting real drunk,
and driving off a ridge,

i want it to be quick,
and want it to be painless,
no life flashing before my eyes,
i want it to be brainless,

when i get real drunk,
is when my emotions fu** me up,
next time that happens,
i see myself giving up,

iv never felt this serious,
it scares me its weird
maybe next week she'll get her wish
and i wont be here,

i wanna get rid of this pain,
i want it to go away,
without her,
i feel there is no reason to stay,

you think i don't love you,
and you think i don't care,
maybe you'll see how much,
when tommorrow im not here...

goodbye you all,
I'm going to a better place,
were i don't think of her,
god will help me forget her face.

...and nicole please never forget me