The joy of pain_+

Your poison runs through my veins and rips my heart. I cant breathe. I cant escape.
Let me go.. let me walk away from this. Cut the binding that suffocates my heart and prevents it from beating it's own rhythm.
I'm bound by my thoughts of you.. how we used to be. The longing that aches and sends a shudder over the days that pass by unnoticed.
And then I hear the voice of my soul, singing to me with a melody so sweet my feet can't hold my weight, and I fall softly to your feet. My eyes search your face, your eyes, your soul. Does it feel what I do? Can it hear this sad, sad song within me? Will it join every note with a note of it's own creation? A hand with mine? My life with its own existence? And then the answer falls from your lips. A sound barely audible above the beating of my heart as you lift my sleeve and run your finger over my wrist, fluent as as the language we've grown able to speak so well. Into the gaps you have left behind. Spaces you once filled.
And they burn. They burn with a heat so intense tears prick my eyes.
You. You did this and the vacant hollow of my eyes screams for you. The scars glow red, fresh as the day they were created, and you pull back. I grab for your hand, clamber for a breath of you. You look at me with eyes so wild with fright it whips me, and i shrink back inside myself.
You fade away, your face imprinted on my being. The glow blinds me, a white that sears through my soul, my heart. And your gone. Every trace of the pain leaves me and I can see again. The cuts abandon my wrist and I'm alone with myself again. Slowly I realise there is more than you. I'd grown addicted to the bitter sweet chill of the love I tried so desperately to salvage from you.

I gave up the world, and you gave up my freedom.