Its the reality that i wish for

I am not a happy person
cant you see that
promises of a happier me
is the reality i wish for

i know i promised
i even tried
if you knew what was going through my mind
maybe then you would understand

i am but a mask
in my pockets hold the key
to other masks
their my escape

so i hide
i lie under the knife
ready to die
but not letting go

the thrill makes me remember
what life is worth living for
for my future, for others
and for the god above

i am not a happy person
but i am trying
cant you see
it's the reality that i wish for