Very sad but its awesome. i know how that feels my own biological father wants nothing to do with me
any ways great poem 5/5

love always tabby

This is amazing! I love the format, and the emotion conveyed brought tears to my eyes.
I also admire the powerful message portrayed by your beautiful words! Such a thought provoking piece!
Take care and keep it up~Holly

This is a beautiful poem and I have no criticisms! I love the format of it, and it is very emotional. Great poem.

Very sad, heart wrenching..... but I'm afraid its true in many cases..... Wonderful write.

Smiles, Hugs and Love, Angela

Atomic,
This is a [excellent] poem. Very emotional and great word usage.
It was very sad, and I'm sorry you went through this.
I love the happiness turn to sadness, excellent write if I do say so my self.
Well done.

-Lisa xo

Wow....*wipes away a tear* that was beautiful and powerful. i loved it. keep up the great work.
Emma 5/5

Miss Atomic...I'll say you out did yourself on this one!! I love it...It's sad that so many kids endure such pain...The way you ended was so unexpected...Awesome write m'dear...

I read this before, but being myself, I was too lazy to comment.

This poem is excellent. I love the way it flows from walking to death, it is like, day afternoon and then night. It's like how we were once depicted as four legged walkers in the day, 2 in the afternoon and 3 in the night.

Morning represents the baby years.
When we were babies we used our hands and our feet,

Afternoon represents adulthood.
We are in the prime, we walk on two feet and we stand tall.

Night represents the elderly.
We walk on "three" legs, the third leg representing a cane, we are close to death.

Anyways, awesome poem, I wish I could help you by suggesting things, but this time, I honestly (not just me being lazy) this is an awesome poem.

Wow.. excellent poem.. i like the format.. great structure and great rhyming scheme people could relate to this in many ways! lol i was looking through the forums and in the "any asians one lol" you said you havent met and vietnamemse poets lol Im one.. just not as good as you! i sound stupid.. your obviously very talented keep it up ;)

--emotionless19.*

Woo really deep i can sooooo relate to this.... i love it. I read sum more of ya work and is amazing u are really talented keep it up =) 5/5

Atomic ,
The emotional tears that fall from my eyes reading this poem is unbelievable ...
So very sad that this does happen many times in our society .
Wonderfully written piece that hits my heart like a sledge hammer and hopefully will also hit the hearts of all the parents out there that just don't see the pain they have caused their children ......

I also have to say I love the format you have chosen to represent this piece .......really makes it stand out..

I liked it even though it was kind of sad. You are a great poet. Keep up the good work.

Oh my God...i'm actually crying.

I'M CRYING!!!!!!! *hugs Atomic and bawls into shoulder, watches a ketchup bottle roll out of Atomic's hair*

What the hell... O___O

This is the one that really did me in, m'wifey:

"Did you see me, daddy?

I cried at my own funeral,
-I was the only one who attended.-"

Fathers...pfft...they're only good for helping mummy have us and occasionally handing us their last name.

I may be bitter, but i'm just in the mood today.

"Father of Mine" by Everclear is a good little song. Lol.

Take care, Wifey.

//Ari\\

aka Wife Number one hundred and forty something =P

Wonderfully written peice, great form and flow. the structure really adds strengh to the peice and the emotions are very strong.

5/5

Aww. thats so sad, i love it. =[

cuz the 'did you see me daddy' makes it sound so innocent, and then everything inbetween those lines contrasts that.

It's beautiful!

This is just deep damn your crazy amazing 5/5.

Wow, that's amazing. It's incredibly sad. But I love it. I love the story, and the way it was written. Very well done. The flow was amazing. The rhymes were perfect. the whole idea of the poem almost made me cry. Good job.

Soda E>