You fell and ive failed again

ONCE AGAIN HERE I AM STUCK IN THE PAST ETERNALLY MEMORIES NEVER ENDING.....
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL THE PAST FROM THE PRESENT...
I RATHER BE IN THE PAST....
WITH YOU...WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO...NOT JUST LEAVE ME IN MIND BUT IN SIGHT AND BODY.....YOUR GONE NOW I KNOW ILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN APART FROM IN MY DREAMS.........BUT EVEN AS I SLEEP THE ONCE CLEAR PICTURE OF YOU SMILING IS FADING AWAY.......AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE WITHOUT YOU MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS POINTLESS WITHOUT PURPOSE.....I FEEL SO USELESS I COULDN'T SAVE YOU....I ONCE TOLD YOU ID CATCH YOU EVERY TIME YOU FELL.....BUT I WASN'T THERE..........I FAILED