You don't know me,
Not the real me!
Pretending and putting on a show,
Enjoying, and moving on, oh how happy my life is
Oh so it seems
Fools, you have been deceived, not only by me
But by your ignorance and selectiveness you do not see!
Why do you only see what you want to see?
Not me, not the real me!
Why do I ask these silly questions?
Am I worth ones concern?
NO! I am on my own,
I hate it here,
I hate this place, I hate me!
But where am I to go?
What am I to do?
My mind is confused, I am confusedâ?¦.
My best friend and yet my worst enemy, the mirror.
She tells me the truth and reminds me of my disgusting self;
Fat, Ugly, my eyes hurt as I see the fat cling to the skinny me.
I cry, pathetic! Tears fall down my chubby cheeks,
Failure, failure, just a worthless, fat failure.
Stressed and hurt, tormented and drained punishment is all I need!
I run and hide from prying eyes,
They must not see, see the way I feel, see the real me!
I am secluded; my eyes watch thy hurt,
Only I see the painâ?¦
Here I am, shiney, fine and most intriguing of all,
My blade is sharp, very sharp.
Just for you, pick it up, donâ??t you dare think!
Deeper, deeper see the red substance dribbleâ?¦
Dribble down your pale skin? See how you feel now?
Each pathetic scratch becomes unsatisfactory
Eventually I realise deeper I must go
To seek the satisfaction I once found.
More and moreâ?¦.
Unsatisfied I swallow paracetamol too;
One, two, ten...twelve
how many more?
What else, what will I do?
I need to leave now; I need to go, out into the horrid world?
Hidden, covered were the scars lay,
Within my heart, within me
I begin to perform my act once agian,
I am not here, I am a fool
I am nothing?
Fat, pathetic ugly and unworthy
My body is in the real world,
my mind elsewhere
Maybe I should act? I am getting good now,
Maybe I should die!
I am alone, I am not free,
Only I know the real me
And I hate me!
