The urge is back
The need to feel anything but alone
Most the scars have faded or
been hidden by clothes
My skin is white again with only hints of pink scars
But now it's back and I need to feel it fly across my skin
I give in reaching for my friend
Watching the perfect line of life sustaining blood run down my wrist
Pressing harder to make a deeper one
Watching my skin rip open
Then the blood pouring out so fast it almost scares me
I feel, all of them pouring out with this cut
A soft smile coming to my face
I see nothing but my blood
and I need more
My hand begins to fly
The blood pooling in the sink
as I cut again and again
Not bothering to count,
just wanting to feel more
My arm is covered with hundreds of long deep cuts
As I grow dizzy I realize what I've done
Blade quickly hidden, wet towel to wipe away all the feeling
Then with my sleeve pulled low
I paste on a smile and pretend to be ok
