I kept everything inside

I should have told you,
But I kept everything inside.
I should have done something,
But there I stood, frozen.

I did nothing
And now you're gone.
You went far away
Without saying goodbye.

I would like to say I miss you.
I would like to say I love you.
I've done that for the last 119 days,
And I'm no better off than I was before.

There's nothing left to do,
Except try and get over you.
Because you're not coming back.
Not now, not ever.

Well, I know you'll be back.
But not for long.
You'll be here long enough
To break my heart again.

I have to try and save it.
I have to try while I can.
I know it won't do any good,
The sight of you will start my falling.

It's amazing what a simple smile can do.
It's crazy that I can still love you.
It's shocking that I'm still hanging on.
It's sad that I still can't let go.

I want to let you go so bad though.
But at the same time,
I want to hang on
Because a part of me thinks you love me.

It's really sad,
I wish that part of me would die.
I wish I would feel no more pain.
I wish things were different.

But I'm stuck with this,
Until something happens,
That brings you here
Or sends me away.

I wish that day would come soon.
I know it will take it's time.
I know this because
Time is not on my side.

There is no way out.
I'm probably never going to be free.
It's not up to me
Nothing is anymore.