I wish i could shake this feeling of insignificance. self hatred is one of the worst feeling one can possess yet thats all i feel. i feel myself falling deeper and i can't stop it. i wish there was someway i could stop what goes on in my mind, my heart. wish i could feel no hatred, no hurt or pain. A way which i could be happy in my skin. Be wanted and loved the way i am, just me. To be purely content with who i am because i can't change that. i don't want to i just want to be happy. but this feels as if any of this will never happen and everything, the hurt and pain turns inwards and eats away at me until i'm numb, dead - inside. heart, mind body and soul. I just never feel good enough for myself let alone anyone else. i hate myself for everything i am, everything im not and everything i wish i could and want to be. If only i could except myself, just as i am, i would'nt hurt so much. i feel there's so much inside me i need to find and so much others don't know which if only i could express or make them want to find out whats within me. i feel so lost. physically, emotionally and spritually drained- i want to find my way - i wish for contentment with myself, self validation, silence from my head and then maybe happiness will follow. untill then "i sit and wait with blinded eyes and hands that fail" and hope this darkness will pass soon.
