Just Another Day

Dear Mommy, I turned sixteen recently, just thought I'd let you know,
Because that day has come and gone, and I'm still waiting for you to show.
I had a foreboding that entire week prior to my "special day" Something told me my heart would bleed, another wound, just another day.
"The big 1-6!" Everyone exclaimed, merely contributing to the pain.
That constant reminder that it was just another day to you, no call, no kiss.
No candles planted into my home made cake with mommy's gentle hand while I was off at school working, working hard to make her proud, proud to be my mother.
No, "Happy Birthday baby girl, hurry, before the candles blow out! Make your wish!"Yeah, I wish.

Instead of a wish granted, a wish stepped on, crushed like ice.
I long for that hoard of affection, I so desperately wish she has stored away for me, her oldest daughter, on her special day.
Outside it was a dark day, trees bare, with diabolic winds stirring up the cold air.
Winds blowing by with the whispers of my mother, teasing me, while tormenting my heart.
These winds, so haunting created an incorrigible resentment towards you, my mother.
My mother, the woman who bared me as her first child, with the pledge of eternal love,
Guidance in the correct direction, abetting my actions, and just to be there is all I plead.
Lead me to my dreams I grip so tightly with pure ambition, instead of setting bad examples through your infernal behavior.

Still to you it was just another day.
Another day you woke with the hopes of fulfilling your disgusting habits,
Disgusting habits that compel you to neglect you first born child,
First born with her yelping cry, who looked up at her mommy with her big blue eyes,
I imagine I expected you to care for me until death do us part...I guess I'm dead?
Not a turning point in my life, not one step higher in the ladder of maturity,
But another day, concluding with my emotionally distraught prayers,
Prayers for mommy to come back, the old mommy who used to love me.
Actually no, I take that back, not mommy anymore.
A malefactor, incriminated then incarcerated for failing to fulfill her duties as a mother to her daughter on her special day.

Incarceration, bars between us, no windows, one phone call a day, separation.
No, actually, just another day. Just me, just you, not us. Coincident? No, just another day.
Everything's fine, distance builds strength, I'm perfect. I've never been better.
But silly mommy, incarceration is not the equivalent of impunity.
Just because the bars are up, doesn't excuse you from that call I waited for on my special day.
Not a kiss, not a card, just a call!...that's all.
I guess you reached a certain age, and exonerated yourself as my mother.
Thats fine, I'm growing up just like a young lady should...motherless?
The reality is that I'm hurting, and you are to blame.

So I'm sixteen now, sweet sixteen, blow out your candles, make a wish,
For the best years are yet to come.
Another course of 365 days I don't get a call.
Another 60 minutes in each hour of each one of those prolonged days that I yearn for that ring
The same thing day after day after week after month...just a couple more days.

My wish.
My wish to efface all the pain inflicted by you, and your illness.
My wish for you to return to being my mommy.
My wish for you to be there on my special day.
My wish for you to see that it wasn't just another day,
But, I guess this is where I went wrong.
I've always been told not to udder your wish or it won't come true.
I guess I'll settle with that as an excuse,
An excuse as to why I didn't get a call from you.
A call from my mommy, on my special day.