Addiction

If I said I didn't miss you, it'd be a lie
If I said you didn't hurt me, trust me I've cried
If I said you never had my heart, well I'm still defending that as true, but
If I said that he means more to me, know that
All I ever wanted was you.
It's hard sitting next to him, and seeing you across from me
It feels so wrong, like things have been reversed
It's just not meant to be...
This way I'm crying over you, again
I just want to stop all of these feelings, and
Let's not begin because
What I have now, what I have is really good and if I left it
Everything would
Everything would fall apart. Again.
I can't give you me, I've become so much stronger, better than this,
Can you see, can you see?
I've spent all of this time, and all of these months to prove to you
That I can rise above
Everything that you did to me and
To prove that I'm finally free
So how come I fall apart when we're together
How come I'm willing to give up this life, that's so much better?
I want you to know that I don't need you but
I can't help myself I keep thinking, "What if?"
This whole time, your...our memories I've missed and
It kills my soul.

I don't know what to do
I'm so happy, me, without you and
This life that I've built is so glorious and fun
The sight of you in the past sent me away, made me run and now
Well...now look at me
I can't sleep, I can't eat,
I can't even f-ing breath! LOOK AT THIS
Look at what you've done, again!
Look at me, poor little innocent me
Attacked by your powers of manipulation and everything you know
You're the only one who knows my heart, every inch of me, every part of me
You're the only one who knows.
I'm trying so hard to run away, to scream, to fight, but
Instead I keep on dreaming about you and me, night after night after night and
Yesterday I almost called you baby in front of him, then I
Almost called him your name and think of what would've happened
I try to pin it all on you, but this pathetic addiction...
It's all me, I'm the one to blame.
Kill me, please do something to hurt me again
I must've forgotten all of my hatred for you, when you took my heart and shattered it and laughed in my face
I found somebody new, angel, YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED!

SO WHY?! Why do you think that you can just come back in and
Spoil me, buy me things, treat me like I should be treated and
Act like you know who I am, I've changed
I HATE YOU!!!!!! but
It's still me...it's still me we should blame.