by michael Feb 22, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
secret love
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Feeling so cold without the one girl that he loves thinking she doesn't even notice him just another fish in the sea when he sees her smile he cant believe how beautiful she truly is when she frowns he wishes he could cheer her up but knowing he's to shy to even say hello when she looks at him and sees him staring at her he looks away fast feeling his cheeks getting hot from blushing when she finally walks up to him and says hello he hears her soft voice he opens his mouth to say hello but he is to nervous to say it back finally gets it out starting to feel comfortable and finds out the girl he loved, loved him too. |
by J Lau
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This is very sweet... it's nicely written. My only suggestion to make this flow better is to break this up into stances - the way you want the reader to perceive your piece. This will also allow the reader to enjoy your poem more without having to think. Keep up the good work though! |
by holly
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This is so sweet, i really caught onto the emotion you put in that poem well done i espically liked the ending :D xxALLYxx |