Do I? Don't I? - 09/03/2006

I fought with my lover,
Holding some scissors, thinking,
I look at my hands; I look at the scissors,
Do I? Don't I? I begin to cry, how far am I sinking?

So many months happy,
Clean, safe, free,
Faint scars, pain, life,
Freaking out, heavy breathing, going to flea.

So many things going at once,
Hard to keep up,
Head spinning,
Do I want to know what's in death's cup?

Do I want to go down that path again?
Hiding my arms?
Being scared,
Not flirting out my charms.

I'm scared,
Do I? Don't I?
I throw them away,
Right away, I begin to cry.

No more,
Do I talk to someone?
Do I leave it?
Do I act like it never happened? Or has it been said and done?

So confused,
So lost,
No where to be found,
Cant talk, hidden under all life's frost.

©Elisha L. Brain 2006