I wish, you dont

I wish you could see the thoughts that go through my mind
the words you'd want to say you wouldn't be able to find

you don't understand the life I live
the things I do and the things Ive did

you don't see why theres nights I cry for what seems to be no reason
to my heart you've all played it treason

you don't hear my hearts cry nor my prayer for my world and life
but my world as I know it is formed by pain and strife

I wish that you could see Ive been down that road once or twice before
Ive had my heart broken people hurt me so, but you don't know what I feel anymore

I thought I could relate with those that I call friends
but they gave up listening, my own life and heart I'm left to defend

I feel so alone but you don't even know that when I smile and laugh
its just like a school drama play type of act

but Ive became a professional in trying to hide my pain
and I don't know what I'm here for still when theres nothing left for me to lose or gain

Ive got every reason to give up on this so called life but for some reason I keep holding on
I don't know why I cant just let go. Ive given up now what Ive come to know is gone

the love I had in my heart for you is so far from my mind
but now theres someone else left there for you to find

I loved you for the longest time
I held on even longer, even when I knew you were no longer mine

I'm done living that life where I let the pain of losing you, rule my heart, mind, body, and soul
I've taken back my life now and yet again I'm in control