Why?

Why do people always leave me by myself? Is it because I'm not a pleasant person to be around?
Why do I always cry myself to sleep at night? Is it because God took away my only love?
Why is it when I'm sad I always grab the knife? Is it because I want to be with my love again?
Why do I always make the wrong decisions in my life? Is it because I want attention?
Why do I always start the fight? Is it because no one understands me?
Why do I sometimes make myself hurl? Is it because I would rather be hungry?
Why am I such an unhappy girl? Is it because I've gone through so much pain when I'm only 14?
Why am I about to kill myself? Is it because no one bothers to listen to me?
Why are the lights getting dimmer? Is it because I'm about to die?

I guess so... between life and death which is better in my mind?