'I Am Dying On The Inside
by darkness Mar 24, 2006
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I'm dying inside, and I can't seem to let go...how could I just let my life walk away...I want to pull you close and just say I love you and miss you so bad. I can't get you off my mind and I am sick of trying...Tell me how to fix this and I'll do my best. I try so hard to give you what you need but I just can't get that done! My eyes are filled with unshed tears. And my heart is breaking as I see you smile because I am missing you so much...If only I could touch the sky and write your name in the clouds, would that help prove my love? I hear your voice in my head and it makes me smile but still I feel dead. I need to know you're mine but the sun has stopped shining because you're no longer mine...I can't stay away so please don't ask me to...I love you so much I just wish you knew it was true... |
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Latest Comments
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17 years ago
Hmm...if this was a story, I think it would be a lot better. If it was meant to be written as a poem, then I'd suggest trying a style where you can read the words in stanzas (verses). That's just my opinion. I did think that the emotion was good though. Also, try fixing grammar problems. For instance, the title. It should be 'I Am Dying On The Inside.' Not 'Iam Dieing On The Inside.' Keep it up. You'll get there. =) 4/5 xoxo
Samantha
