Comments : The Race

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    But that doesn't mean I'm better than you at quasar . . . :)

    Nice poem, no meaning - just . . .a poem!! The rhyming was amazing, and the last line finished it off nicely. I like the way the poem moves through the race as well, from the gun at the start to you . . .winning -_- . . . at the end!!

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by Rusted x Heart

    I agree with the previous commenters,good poem, its just refreshing to read one without having to really look deeply into it, it flowed really well, and I liked how the last line didnt rhyme and seemed to actually 'end' it, like the race did.

  • 18 years ago

    by Loulou

    This is really good and good description

    excellent job!

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I think this was a very powerful and vivid poem. I think maybe the rhyming could have been better, as in parts it seemed forced. The rhyme of the thrid and fourth line of the second stanza is an example of this, "as i kept on spurting" doesn't make much sense to me. The very last line doesn't fit in with the rhyme scheme of the rest of the poem either.
    I think you used some good descriptions and creative words. Apart from the rhyming it's a very well written poem. Keep it up.

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    This was good, It reminded me of when i was at state nationals and i won a gold medal. Great poem, It really touched me! Keep it up =] 5/5

    luv natalie x-x

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    Good ol' competitive jenny again - ur poem skills are improving - though I don't think u really care :P

  • 18 years ago

    by NannO

    Hey.. welcome over here.. hope u enjoy ur stay :D.. i love this poem.. its absolutely amazing.. i loved the rhyme, the words, everythig about it.. reli, gr8 job
    keep up ur talent
    take care
    NannO

  • 18 years ago

    by Daze

    Good poem, This poem could mean a lot of things for different people and thats what I like about this poem, great job in this poem, I really liked it, not much more top say than that, keep writing

  • 18 years ago

    by Alex Marlatt

    Good job - but did you really win a race? I never could I can't run very well. :( Anyways good job mademoiselle

  • 18 years ago

    by holly

    Different but clever it can have different meaning weather you meant it that way or not lol dosent matter it was good simple but effective xx ALLY xx

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenny

    Hey,

    Take the poem as you will, but the reason why I could think of all the imagery is because I do quite a lot of running, and yes I have won a few races, lol, thanks for reading the poem. : )

  • 18 years ago

    by LiL K

    Very nice poem! A like your descriptive choice of words...they kinda made my heart start beating fast cause I felt like I was actually in the race. :) ...good job! 5/5

    Thanks for your comment on my poem!

  • 18 years ago

    by BloodyXxXKisses

    Really good poem.. your really talented :)
    xoxoxo
    cler

  • 18 years ago

    by *~vixen~*

    Really paints a picture in your head.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lenny

    It was pretty good the last verse didnt rhyme! That was what made it sort of sink downhill for me. But other wise its quite good, the sequence of events is consistant, and it had a good syllable rhyme count. Couple of the rhymes seemed a bit forced but otherwise great job!

  • 18 years ago

    by BrokenToy

    I've never been in any kind of race myself, so I don't know how it feels like. But this poem really told me something about it. It is well written and much like my own style (although I have many different styles...) Anyway. Good work. ^_^

    *BrokenToy

  • 18 years ago

    by Laura Ash

    Great poem! I love that 5th line

  • 18 years ago

    by restless soul

    Wow this poem was amazing, I do a lot of running myself so I can really relate to this poem, you got all the imagery and desricption right, great work, keep it up!!!

  • 18 years ago

    by †Undone♥

    This was good! This one is probably my newsest favorite!

  • 18 years ago

    by Brigitte

    Such a creative thing to write about.... I loved how you wrote about somthing other than the usual. :) Very nice wording... In a few parts it was forced but it still worked out! 5/5 Keep writting!