Pain that won't go away

I deserved it.
I feel a disgrace to all real men out there.
i deserved it.
I had the nerve to call myself the real deal.
I deserved it.
I served her right till i did something that wasn't bright.
I deserved it.
I observed her for 3 months.
I deserved it.
I fell in love with her within in 2 months.
I deserved it.
I felt like I could fly above the clouds with the birds.
We were like two dove's flying high but now I feel like a chicken solve off a cliff.
I deserve it i lost something very precious to me and now I suffer for it like a scar that never will go away.I just want her back.what i feel now is what i should have feel two weeks ago.what i feel now is that I want her only her and now its to late I deserved shar.