Rage

It was one moment
time stopped
blood ran cold
one instant in eternity.

Unfeeling,
cruel,
ruthless,
overwhelming the senses.

Tears start
but dont fall.
Fists start
but dont fall.

The struggle
that Ive won
for 5 years
begins anew.

Tired,
fearful,
infuriated,
giving in.

Hating self
for giving,
grieving but still giving,
giving in.

Plans run
over and over
to get away,
run away, move.

All at once dark comes
hurting and pain stops
and I am yet again
in control.