Comments : Love

  • 14 years ago

    by azlan26

    "but my world i so askew" should be is
    Hmm very repetitive rhyming sceme, works well in someplace, but the 3rd stanza kinda didn't work for me 'thong' kinda ruined the atmosphere
    The last stanza however, especailly the 1st two lines is very good and a nice end to a good poem
    Keep wriring dude :)

  • 14 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    The best thing about this poem for me is the rhyme. Feel as if it was a tad on the surface...my advice dig a little bit deeper...otherwise it rawks...

    [lostlaureate- come find me]

  • 14 years ago

    by holly

    Mmm i liked the rhyme interesting style i like it well done xx ALLy xx

  • 14 years ago

    by Brigitte

    Very different way of writting this... The rhyming was of course a little forced but the main idea of the poem came through clear. I give you alot for attempting such a rhyming poem! 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Sole

    I agree with Lost Laureate - It's a little bit shallow for my liking, and the rhyming seemed forced at parts.

    but my world i so askew
    Should be
    but my world is so askew

    Other than that - Interesting rhyme scheme, nice message.

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 14 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It's pretty good but the rhyming does seem a bit forced. The concept and the idea is good but it doesn't stand out like it possible could. Interesting, though.

  • 14 years ago

    by Bridgette

    I really liked this poem. it shows strong emotion & i love the way you rhymed it. great job! 5/5*

  • 14 years ago

    by *~vixen~*

    Good job! 5/5
    keep it up.

  • 14 years ago

    by PS

    I really liked the first stanza and the last stanza. but the two in between sort of confused me. i love this:
    Broken down, i cry

  • 14 years ago

    by LuvMeAlwayz

    Nice rhyming, keep it up