Many times of my life I failed. I�m such a lousy
girl. There are things that I regret I didn�t do,
and things I regret I did. Good things gone by
without me chasing after it; while there are some
bad things I spent my times with. Among those, is
the relationship abound to flourish but then I
just walk on. I was so wrong to think that no one
gets tired of loving me. I was stupid not to
distinguished lust from love. How hypocrite I am
to control my feelings to someone so perfect.
There are no buts in there, its just plain stupidity.
We met at the wrong time, I should say. I�m with
someone else, fooling and just flirting around
when he shows up. I admit there�s a flicker, but
then, I repeat, I�m with someone else. And no
matter how flirty and how horny I can get, I never
say yes to two men at the same time. And I�ve
chose the wrong guy. I was too childish to admit
that I�ve fallen so I just look at him while he�s
walking away. My heart didn�t break�it shattered!
My world didn�t fall apart�its gone! I gave
everybody my most deceiving smile and tell them
I�m ok! But I wasn�t. And no one knows that.
This isn�t lust I know. I�ve kissed too many lips.
Hugged too many guys. And fool too many hearts.
Isn�t that enough to tell everyone I know the
difference of those men to him? All those
standards I set for a guy, all those qualities I
said I�m looking for; became nothing but just my
words. He stands for everything I am against for.
He will never be my knight in shining armor nor
the boy next door�he is the punk walking down the
street. He is someone I never thought of liking,
much more of loving. But he turned to be the only
guy who sweep my feet off the ground. I always
thought of him as the guy whom I can bluff around
with. Someone who never get serious with any
girls. Someone I definitely won�t fall for. But
God knows how I�m losing my mind with just a
thought of him finding someone better than me. I
can never bear the fact that he moved on while I�m
still trying to pick my shattered heart at the
same place where he left me. Isn�t tragic to
realize you love someone after you said no? And
now, no matter how much you tell him you love him
he will never believe you. I was such a fool!
The best thing in my life is when he told me he
love me, the worst is when I didn�t say yes�
