To the silent stranger

by PS   Apr 1, 2006


I don't really like this poem at all. but i thought i would get some feedback before i threw it out. so what do you think:

edited 4/4-thanks for the help you guys i added some and stuff.

to the silent "stranger"

why are you sitting there
staring at me
why don't you say something
for a change

any one word
can make all the difference
don't just slouch there
and pretend to forget me

this is the fourth year
of you in my classes
of you just peering without
a expression of anything

maybe this is your time
just talk and speak your mind
of what you want me to know
and maybe ill love you even more

for all these years
of you staring at me
ive grown to love
the look of your eyes

huge pools to everywhere
azure exotic blue
seeing me the way others dont
placing me above the rest

so my dear you're sitting
there thinking of me
so how about coming
and talking to me.

tell me whats on your mind
and ill tell you that
ive been waiting to hear
what you want to say

that for all the days
you've wanted to say
that you love me

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Roopa

    I love the detail and expression! go poonam!

  • 18 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    The ambuity of this silent stranger really kept the poem moving...I would have liked to know a bit more about this silent stranger. The last lines through me off a bit and parts were confusing at times...

    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    The concept is good, but the flow felt throw off in places. I can't really explain where though, sorry. I think if you'd gone in depth emotionally by looking in yourself or how it would feel from the silent stranger's or your own different point of view :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Brigitte

    I loved the main idea of the poem but the flow was thrown off in a few places. You might want to add more heartfelt meaningful words.... Everyone loves a poem with beautiful words! But anyways i liked your original idea for this poem! And I liked this line the best!

    so my dear you're sitting
    there thinking of me
    so how about coming
    and talking to me.

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen~Tears

    I liked it but i thought maybe more of a rhyme would help and maybe make it longer? just some thoughts..

    ~!*FallenTears~!*
    ~!*Meaghen~!*

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