Alive in a dead dream

I don't know why i am scared today,
while my past lurks on me,
you come to me my dear friend,
with your plea of love trouble,
how could i help you when i couldn't keep mine in peace,
hope desires feelings are miles away,
it darkness and fear all the way,
right when the ray of truth shall hit me,
breaking my frame to pieces,
what would i be? a liar a coward maybe,
another name made a new for me,
no but no one can understand beside me,
that what evil creeps inside of me,
how i would love crushing them,
their cries not affecting me,
how cold of me not knowing no sympathy,
its i don't know what, something hungry in me,
trying to break barriers, finishing the world outside of me,
kill this sound of thirst, want,
bury my thoughts in blood of greeds,
die, i die like i see, till i bleed my lost drop of blood.